The Biggest Slice Dilemma:

Is the pizza an olive branch, or is it a move on the chessboard?

By Jake Darbandi

Associate Trainer

September 1, 2025

It’s 8:30 pm in the evening. You’ve been in the room with your team since 9 am that

morning. Your counterpart sits next door, and the mediator is shuttling back and forth.

This mediation comes after months of acrimonious, even emotional exchanges. The context of this mediation is not particularly relevant.

Perhaps this is your last shot at resolution with your former employer. It could even be the much-anticipated confrontation between you and your aggrieved business partner.

Since you arrived in the morning, you can feel the tension in the air, and this never

eased as the day went on. The reality is that you don’t like the other side, and once

this dispute is finally resolved, you will be glad to be done with them forever.

After nearly 12 hours, and with the aid of a skilful mediator, you’ve made some

progress, and it looks like a settlement is within reach. So when your stomach starts

rumbling and you see the tired, worn-out look on the faces of your team, you

suggest ordering some pizzas.

Everyone is on board, and you swiftly open the Deliveroo app – but then someone asks – “Should we ask the people next door?”.

Your initial reaction is an absolute negative. They have put you through months of

difficulty and stress; the last thing they deserve from you is a pizza on the house. You’re not

here to make friends.

Then again, sharing food is one of the oldest human gestures of decency; from

tribal feasts to state banquets, now business dinners and lunch meetings. But this

mediation isn’t just any meeting. Here, every choice is part of the negotiation dance.

Buying pizza for the opposing party could be interpreted as a peace offering… or as

a cunning tactic to win favour. It might soften the mood, or it might raise eyebrows.

Should You Buy Your Counterpart a Pizza in Mediation?

The Case for Buying the Pizza

1. Focus on the People, not the Problem

In William Ury and Roger Fisher’s groundbreaking 1981 book, ‘Getting to Yes’ 1*, the

first lesson they taught us in negotiations is to focus on the people and not the

problem. In a mediation where parties see each other as adversaries, a simple

gesture of buying a pizza can be a small reminder of common humanity. It’s hard to

maintain hostility when you have a full belly and are wiping tomato sauce off your

fingers.

2. The Hungry Judge Effect

A 2011 research paper out of Columbia University 2* found that judges gave the most

lenient decisions at the start of the day and immediately after a scheduled lunch

break. So it turns out judges get hangry, too, as will your counterparty in the

mediation. Would you prefer to negotiate with someone agitated and angry, or

calm and relaxed?

3. A Cheap Way to Buy Goodwill

If you’re the one to initiate, it can signal generosity. And if it is well-received, the other

party may feel slightly more inclined to work with you. Done without fanfare, it can

subtly reduce defensiveness.

The Risks of Buying the Pizza

1. Perceived Manipulation

In some contexts, the gesture could be read as a bribe. The other side may be

acutely aware of the hostility between you both. Your kind offer to buy them dinner

could be misconstrued as an underhanded attempt to divert them from your substantial

differences. And nobody likes to think the wool is being pulled over their eyes. This calls for the Biggest Slice Dilemma on an already hungry, decision-fatigued body.

2. Power Imbalance

If you are in a stronger bargaining position, paying for food could unintentionally

highlight that imbalance. It may make the other party feel indebted, and they could

feel even more strongly to resist your very reasonable offers.

3. Distraction from Negotiation

After a good meal, the other side might feel just a little too comfortable and relaxed.

You thought the settlement was in reach, but they are now prepared to spend all night

revisiting the progress you have made and drive a harder bargain for what is still to

be agreed.

Food for Thought: A Balanced Approach to the Biggest Slice Dilemma

In the end, whether you order that pizza should depend on your intent and your read

of the room. If it’s a genuine effort to keep energy up and make the process more

humane, it can be a surprisingly powerful move. If it’s likely to be met with suspicion,

look for an alternative; perhaps the mediator can facilitate the order. Negotiation is

as much about small signals as it is about big decisions, and sometimes, the

simplest acts, like sharing a meal, can help bridge divides that months of argument

could not.

And remember, in both negotiation and pizza, everyone wants a bigger slice.

1* Fisher, R., & Ury, W. (1981). Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.

2* Jonathan Levav, associate professor of business at Columbia University, https://www.theguardian.com/law/2011/apr/11/judges-lenient-break